: : University madness : :

Shaurya 08’(Oct 31st – Nov 3rd)
The first report sports meet.IIT(KGP)

It all started off when our university was invited to Shaurya 08’. The first sports meet at IIT (K.G.P). One of the most important game of my life, of course when you represent your university for the very first time.Days back experiencing all the state level tournaments. I wasn’t too nervous but obviously had an anxiousness to face the challenges ahead. IIT as we all know has a pretty good reputation all over the world, where I found students were not only given exposure to studies but also for co-curricular. Their huge nature-friendly campus added a beauty to its name.
All over India different university were invited for the sports meet namely St. Meri (Kolkata), St. Xaviers(Ranchi), NIT (Rourkella) and many others. Our university had participated in all the challenging games they had organized such as table-tennis, lawn-tennis, volleyball and basketball. Everything was well organized from day one, fixtures were put up and the game was on. We had a league tournament in all the games when every team seemed competitive enough for a good fight, worth a sports meet. Not that everyone who plays can win the game but its all about how much one can prove with his ability and make the sports meet a success and brings a fame to his own university. Having set a competitive fight in the beginning, we wayed ahead. Every single match was crucial for us but then it was a little disappointing for us not to make into the finals, but we secured the third place in table- tennis. I don’t really disagree to the point that all the players out there were really talented but somehow I realized that we went a little wrong with our game strategy, not all day goes well after all.
All over had a wonderful experience , playing my game and fighting for a place to add a title to my university’s name. I certainly hope to bring more fame and prestige for my university in days to come and I believe that the game has just begun. . . .

: : I M NOT WHAT I WANT TO BE : :

i m not what i want to be,
i m what the world wants me to be.

this is not the road i want to walk on,
this is the road chosen by the world for the marathon.

they say i m free but m i really?
show me my freedom if they mean it seriously.

i was born with wings but where are they?
there's no space to spread it, is what they say.

do i still ve my wings? i dont know,
or did they just cut them when i was feeling low.

i feel suffocated and i feel trapped.
i feel i was not understood and my talent was not tapped.

i want to not just reach the destination, but enjoy the ride.
how's that possible when they get upset if i slide.

they want me to achieve something which is their mission,
but how do i make them understand, i dont believe in competition.

they dont let me go and explore,
they say there's no time for it anymore.

they dont let me cry, they dont let me fall.
they say you ll be insane if you do this all.

when i was winning for this world, i lost myself in the crowd.
but when i lost no one was listening even when i was loud.

why cant i just lose sometimes?
is being a loser one of the biggest crimes?

why are they judging my each and every step?
why dont they understand, i m not walking according to the map.

everyone wants me to win the war and so do i,
but when a few battles are lost on the way why do they say bye?

the world has two categories, that of a winner and a loser,
but do they understand i m none, but a fighter.

i m not really weak, i m strong.
but their idea of my strengths are all wrong.

and so i say i m not what i want to be,
i m what the world wants me to be.

I-Dream

forgotten,forsaken...formidable dreams
forgotten,forsaken....forever..my dreams

even b4 i cud get up from sleep
my dreams gt enveloped in dust of tym

even b4 i cud remember
i was made to forget my dreams

i m living
i m alive
but yet do not find it a worthy strive..
there is no life....inside.

forgotten...forgotten...long ago.......

but some times still
i travel back to forbidden time
and forage for my forgotten dreams
they seem to smile gently
and den turn their backs again
like once i did to them

i ve forgotten
i ve forgiven
i ve let forgo...
all my dream
all unlimited dreams

Flying Emotions

Why can't i bury the darkness of mah past
this torturous pain tht seems 2 everlast
prayin tht this time ticks by quick n fast
coz no longer can i wear this hollow mask

Friends or traitors,no difference i c
foes r better if u think a lil like me
they may tear,bruise n throw u 2 the sack
but all tht is better than a stab 2 the back

Love,as of now,seems nothing more than a mere word
it's all bullshit,n no more in this world
no1's lately felt this sweet emotion
love is as real,as a hallucination

Hope is all i live wit now
hopin life'll get beautiful someday,somehow
hopin i'll find true pals on ma way
n some1,who in mah heart,will forever stay....

And my soul rests in peace as I leave my memories behind.

May her soul rest in peace as she leaves all of us behind..This is not a biography of my sister,its infact an auto-biography she wanted me to write for her..with the last looks..

I was blind when I arrived in this world. Only through my nose and sharp ears I could locate my mom.I was cute enuf and I had brown nose and brown eyes.. We were three sisters and four brothers. The world was all darkness for us for nearly 17 days after our birth. I remember the day when all of us opened our eyes one by one. There was lot of excitement in the family we were living with. We could only see hazy images though, but from the excited tones we could imagine some kind of jubilation around us. Mostly we lay huddled against each other. The body warmth of my mom and my mates was very reassuring. Those were the golden days, when most of the time we either slept or suckled our mom. I still love to recollect the way she licked us to keep us clean. One day I strayed away from all others and a loud growl from my mom froze me. She dragged me back to her.We had started to play amongst ourselves and sometimes with mom too.

She was seldom playful. She appeared to snooze, but she kept an eye on us all the time. I remember my first meal. The mistress of the house brought a milk pudding in a flat bowl. It was okay, but not as tasty as my mom's milk. I was growing pretty fast and could feel the change in my body. Around six weeks I was having five meals a day. Now all day my mom was no where to be seen. We played amongst ourselves only. 'Catch me if you can' being our favorite game. We got the company of mom only at night.
We were all about seven weeks old and there was lot of commotion in the house. A couple came near us along with our mistress. We all rushed to greet them, except our weak brother Shorty. He was always shy of strangers and hid behind our box and started to cry. Our mom was no where to be seen. May be she heard the cries of Shorty and was barking loudly from inside the house. We were scared but the lady who came to see us was fascinating. She immediately developed a liking for me. She picked me up, held me close to her. My heart was throbbing, but her hug calmed me down. She kissed my wet nose and started to call me 'Tiny'. I learnt that her name was Anju and they wanted me to be with them, yes they had a son name Anjan who they often call Joy..who studied in class II in a missionary school.
The first car ride to their place was really frightening. I lay cuddled up in her lap and she constantly stroked my forehead to reassure me. Upon reaching the house she let me roam about for a while. I sniffed the place. Things were alright but suddenly I started to miss mom and my mates too. I started to whimper. The lady rushed to me and soothed my fears. I had a small box that looked nice. It had a soft bed and I crawled in and slept peacefully. I dreamt of my mates, we were playing, running around.Suddenly,I heard a noise..things really frightend me in this lonely world where I was kept..separated from my family..my mom.I dragged myself out of the soft bed and search for a better shelter so that no one could harm me..and lastly I found one..It was under an old bookshelf.It was then I found someone coming in..looked more like a kid..A little brat who seemed to be waying in most probably in search of a surprize..he seemed to be excited.. Oh no..He pulled me out,I was trying hard so that he puts me down again..but unfortunately I was too small for that..I hardly had any strong teeth and not even a proper scaring growl.. but was it me whom he thought to be a surprise? ..
After a few days, they took me out in the car. I was not scared of the ride now. They took me to the Vet. I heard the Vet inform them that I was a German Spitz. Our forefathers were brought to India from Germany and we were named as Spitz. I felt proud of my ancestry. The Vet gave me a sharp prick. It was quite painful, yet it ensured that I do not catch some dreaded diseases. The lady seemed to know her way with dogs. She gave me a small piece of liver immediately after the Vet took out the needle. This made life easy for me and the next pricks after a couple of days were not bad at all. I was always rewarded with more pieces of liver.

Life seemed to be really enjoyable. The family made a lovely pack and my dad was our leader. I used to wait for him to come back from his work..with days I started to like him a lot.I was almost so called a devotee to him. The sound of his car was exciting for me. He used to take me out on long walks. He used to teach me his language with short commands like 'come', 'sit' etc.He really did spend a lot of time for me even if he was too busy and that was understandable. Dressing my hair,helping me out to get a bath,to clean my nails and all that was needed so that I could boast about myself..being a proper and a well bred dog..He never allowed anyone to tie me with a belt..so I was a free girl you see..Yes I was a my daddy's girl..And trust me..I just couldn't tolerate when I found my daddy picking a kid up or any other dog in his lap..I seriously didn’t. The best time for me was when I used to take bath and I really enjoyed the time after that. Shivering with cold yet so full of energy to run up and down the whole building 2 to 3 times..
In about a year's time they were able to understand my language too. Actually our foster parents, the humans have a spoken language, whereas we express only through body language. It was good that we understood each other well. I remember a dog in the neighborhood being beaten daily by the family. Poor creature did not know that the master's bedroom could not be his toilet. It was unfortunate that even the master could never make out what his dog was trying to say. Lack of communication makes a dog's life miserable.

Days rolled on..and I was provided good food,good shelter and a lot of things I prefered and I dreamt to have:
I am now 13 years old and I find a lot of changes is this family a lot indeed..They cared for,they loved me and pampered me more than anyone else in the family. My mom remains very busy with her work.So does my brother who is now a college going student.... But my dad still and still remains the same,the same way he was before.I will dream of him often.Asfor my brother all though most of the time he had no other work other than to bug me..but again he was one among them who really loved me a lot,he was a lot protective and I took his shelter when any one of our family was angry on me.On the holidays he used to take me out for the bike rides and gimme chocolates and icecreams from share as I would keep my head on his lap and groan with content.I used to sit with him when we were served food together,he was more like a guy who was careless in all that he did..
But more than him..I was really close to my dad,yes my dad and my dear loving dad..He was the one who pampered me more than my brother..but that seriously was never a misunderstanding between me and my brother..Thats what you call a family.I used to lay cuddled up in his shop..under his chair..I used follow him in every little thing he did..Be it to scooter ride,be it to parking the car..be it to lunch or be it to dinner..I loved him more than anyone else in this world..Cause I really knew he was the only one who loved me unconditionally.

I wish all dogs were as lucky as I am!A times I would wonder if they were as fortunate !
For me time passed happily. .

~~~~~Suddenly one day after I had a bath I started feeling uneasy..I started feeling a pain ..I tried to speak up but hardly anyone could realise it..
Finally dad gave me a look and by my strange stare..he seemed to get me right.Immideately a vet was called for..and he continued with his experiments on me..with strange tools I had never ever come across before.but with days..I was more into a serious condition..I couldn't eat anything..everything I took wasn't there for long..Docs said I'll be well..so did my family.But unknowingly I had a feeling in my mind..I wasn't going to be in this world,with this family for long.

I had a family perfect and just the way I wanted it to..after all it was my family.I had a grandma who brushed my hairs regulary ,used to feed me everytime she used to eat anything.I was too fond of cucumbers she was the one who managed to get it for me..even if there was a bandh all over India or something..I really get nostalgic thinking all those.An aunt and and uncle quite interested in feeding me too..not once but twice a day..Dont you think all this was enough for me to pray so that I could leave a few more years with them?
But alas!..but never thought we will be on the crossroads..on the verge of separation..
Grasping for breathe for the last time..my eyes still ..with the enormous pain I felt...I found the whole family infront of me..still I found someone missing..yes,my little brat brother.Where was he?Wont I get to see him for the last time?
I had heard this family once upon a time possessed a lot of dogs..Namely Rocky,poppy,Prince and Lucy...and lastly its me who really pained their heart..Yes am leaving this world,forever and ever..As I leave this world..I pray for them specially for my dad..there is nothing nothing I can give even if he loved me so much ..all I can do is to leave back my memories behind..Thanks a lot mom,dad..thanks a lot my little bro..You will forever remain in my heart..yes'I really loved you all..I really did.All I want is to be born again and again in this family..I still remain a part of the "Mitra Poribar" as my dad used to tell...Bye to everyone out there...Finally I leave this world on the eve of september 14th.07.



Nothing will change my love for you Tiny..I promise...Nothing! I really loved you,I still do and will forever..you remain my cute little sister.

My Dad..My Dear luving Dad..

Walking by the road today I feel,

If you would not had been there,

Where would I have been?

You bought me Shakira’s cd

You bought me endless memories

You bought me infinite benedictions

But above all, you bought me

This beautiful family which truly helps

And loves me.

More than a senator, you are a comrade.

You are the one with whom I talk freely,

For rest as you know, there are no vocal cords in me.

The world is frisky just because of you

Otherwise it would have been a total fritter.

You were never like the father Terri had,

In my favorite novel “raise your voice”.

Cos you never discouraged me & my interests,

Howsoever strange they may be.

From you I understood-how to live life.

I understood that it’s not easy to be a father

Cos sometimes you have to scold those whom you

Love the most.

And how strange, that I never got a chance

To tell you that-“DAD YOU’R SIMPLY THE BEST!!!!!”

Do you think it was me?

Even if i try, i can't forget it

every breath i take, i regret it

I let you go..didn't stopped you.

and when searched for.. found i lost you.

..now it doesn't matter coz you moved on..

and i am here still holding on.

Sure i think, i was wrong,mayb i didn't knew,

what was going on,think i believe i am not bad,

coz even i hate the face i had to make you sad,

that's a bad dream for me.

I am still sure on that night,

it really wasn't me............